I am not the only one who associates investment bankers with sociopathy, and let’s face it — they bankrupted us and we had to bail them out. Harmless? I think not. Sociopaths think in the short term: “what do I need to do to get another $1000 to pay for my gluttonous lifestyle? This will work because I have fooled people into thinking I still have a job.”
Ultimately, what’s the harm if they get caught in a lie? They deny it, but will only admit it if the lie is as obvious as the nose on their face. Then it’s just the “Oh, I’m human, I lie and I’m not perfect. Are you perfect?”. Another pity play. There’s a difference between perfection and being an extortionist without concern for one’s own flesh and blood.
The charm and glibness are totally fake and they are what the sociopath uses to con people. He runs the same material, and only I see it (my mom is in denial — thickest pair of rose colored glasses ever!)
For some time I used to play along and go to these events where he had his entourage of fools. I noticed he ran the same material: same jokes, same act, with every group of potential victims. “Oh, you’re so funny and charming”. So charming that people lend him money and when they want payback, they are paid with more charm.
Eventually, they wear out their welcome. Sociopaths don’t hang on to friends (or jobs) for too long. If they do, I find that their friends have qualities of sociopathy, and they see this as “networking” or “synergies” or employ other euphemisms. One of his best friends is also a sociopath, and it’s a weird competitive synergy of trying to out-bullcrap-the-bullcrapper.
Sure, they are not psychopaths wielding axes, but they do harm people. My mother is in her golden years, and had enough money to retire and enjoy life. She never had a “champagne and caviar” retirement fund, but it was a “wine and cheese” one. Then it became became “beer and pretzels”. Now it is “canned soup and thunderbird”.
My brother has extracted $70k from her in the past 18 months, and another $30k from other friends. It goes to fund an expensive lifestyle of hobbies and gluttony, while he claims to be depressed. He finds an awful lot of joy in spending money for someone who is depressed. He’s really a sociopath with chemically induced mania from the medications he conned his therapists into prescribing.
He probably really thinks he is depressed. However, when I read over the symptoms of depression and read the symptoms of sociopathy, he’s 95 percent sociopathy, and maybe fits depression about 30 percent (as much as any normal person would). Heck, I am depressed to see him con my mother. I know that anti-depressants won’t fix that — it’s not a chemical imbalance. It’s destructive people in my life and the lives of people I care about who make me depressed.
When she pushes him to consider getting a job, the sociopathy kicks into overdrive: “oh, you are making me feel worse and this is unhealthy for me because I am clinically depressed”. Then he goes off to the gun range (frightening, really), plays video games all day, drinks wine, drives 40-50 miles to guzzle beef and wine. It’s a con game. It hurts people. My mother cannot enjoy the retirement she deserves because she is the victim of a sociopath. He is living it up on her money with a helpful resources pity story and if she calls him on it, “Oh, you make me feel so much worse”. Yes, just money, no criticism please.
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